Wildflower Whimsy

Happy Monday Wildflowers!

Ah winter, how I love (and hate!) thee! The days are shorter, and colder in the mornings. And for me, it feels like it takes me quite a bit extra to get going in the day. Add to that some expectations, extra commitments, a family birthday milestone and last minute big changes and I have a recipe for feelings of overwhelm, anxiety, and discouragement over my seeming inability to ‘keep up’.

One particular day, I woke up with a weight on my chest. My mind still feeling some residual fog (see last weeks post), and my thoughts racing of all the things I needed to check off my list and people and places and things to meet. I was already feeling so tired, and my children bickering in the background left a great feeling of defeat sitting heavy on my shoulders. ‘When will I have the energy to be on top of life again’ I berated myself. Maybe I needed to be focusing more on my health, in amongst everything else. Adding yet another ‘to-do’ to the growing pile of tasks in my mind. Wherever I looked, there was more I felt I wasn’t ‘keeping up’ with. My heart searching for a quick fix. A quick scroll online added to the mental load of things I needed to apply to simplify life. Why did I feel so overwhelmed by it all?

I had a spare few minutes before I knew I had to hit the ground running and so escaped to a chair on our verandah for some time with Jesus. I woke up late again so missed the ‘pre children wake up’ quiet zone. ‘I need to get up earlier’… again, another place I felt I was missing the mark.

Sitting quietly on our deck, tears started to form in my eyes. I was tired. I couldn’t even think what I should do to fix it because I had so much piled on my plate… it all seemed too much. I prayed. I felt so lost. I wanted to believe that Jesus heard me, that He was going to carry me through, but at that point I felt I just didn’t have capacity to even rest in Him.

A word came to me. Gently. But emphasized.

COMPASSION

I exhaled.

COMPASSION

God reminded me that I had to show myself COMPASSION.

That yes, I had a lot going on. But I wasn’t failing because I couldn’t keep up. I was human. My limitations glorify Him.

That word literally carried me through this week. Because every day was a lot. Every day I felt anxiety. And every day God reminded me again, and again… COMPASSION.

That looked like me asking myself, how can I show myself compassion – right here, right now?

That looked like me escaping outside for a lay down in the sun half an hour before guests arriving instead of stressing over the food or perfection.

That looked like me doing last minute shopping errands with little energy late in the day purchasing a beautiful bunch of flowers for myself to gift my soul, our home, and our table.

That looked like giving my days to God, despite all the extra that was on my plate this week- and watching Him orchestrate moments just for me to recharge that I didn’t have to plan or schedule in.

That looked like me giving my fishes and loaves and trusting the rest to Him.

And that looked like showing so much compassion to myself. Going to bed when I could. Acknowledging how I was feeling and loving myself anyway. And from that compassion that God expressed to me, and I to myself. I was able to outflow that compassion onto others.

I have come to believe that we cannot give something that we have never experienced ourselves. And that starts with us. We always have the ability to choose to show compassion on ourselves, and the source of that compassion is Jesus. Reminding ourselves that we are human and we have limitations – and that’s okay. So much grace. We are here to be a conduit of light to the world, and to show His love. How can we do that if we don’t go to Jesus, and we don’t let His love shine into our hearts and onto ourselves first?

How about you? Do you need to show yourself some true COMPASSION? Have you been a little hard on yourself for your seeming ‘failings’? Do you need to know that your limitations aren’t a fault, they are what makes you, you? As the lady who authored my favourite quote of the week says… what if “limitations are the whole point”? This is a reminder from God to me to you, to go big on COMPASSION this week. Let God love on you and make sure you love on you. And let that compassion you accept for yourself from Jesus flow onto the relationships around you; and let’s see if we can change our week’s narrative from achieving false perfection, to loving and showing compassion in amongst our own limitations and the limitations of those around us.

Favourite quote of the week:

The age of AI likes to act like we are all machines. But if a machine can always improve, always optimize, always progress, what does that say about us? Are we supposed to conclude that our limitations, our faults, our quirks, our suffering, our humanity, make us flawed machines?

But what if…. we are exactly what we need to be. Are there forms of truth-telling that can ONLY come from our limitations, our faults, our quirks, our suffering, our humanity? What would that be like, if you trusted yourself to be a person who can face the future not in spite of your limitations but because of them?

Who would you trust yourself to be? – Kate Bowler

With wildflower whimsy,

Steph xo

P.S. I’m still very much keeping up with my 3pm tea times. They have been bringing me so much life (thanks Sally Clarkson!). Enjoying sunsets. Admiring beautiful crimson purple straw flowers in my garden that have started to bloom – these are breathtaking. Playing board and card games make me happy. And our family sabbath which we keep on Saturday, ended with an hour or more of singing with my dad on guitar and me on ukulele and music playing watching the sun slowly go down on the horizon. Sunsets are richer than money folks. And they happen every day. These are just a few of my favourite things this week. . . What are some of yours? So much love xo