Wildflower Whimsy

Happy Monday Wildflowers!

I have a habit of beginning each week, usually on Sunday, of taking a quick moment to set out a weekly plan page for my family and myself to follow for the week. It’s laughingly referenced as our home’s ‘noticeboard’, with updates often penciled in as the week transpires. Sunday a week ago, found me just there. I was sitting at our dining table. Calendar, weekly planner and pens and highlighters at hand.I was highlighting the final touches to our well-filled plan for the week.

“What a colourful week we have ahead of us!” I spritely declared to my children as I placed the magnet over our planner page on our fridge. Every day holding multiple layers of highlighted adventures, birthdays, dates, commitments, sports, meetups, appointments and social events. Armed with a hopeful and willfully determined spirit, I was ready to divide and conquer the week ahead!

Monday came, and things immediately started shifting. I laughingly messaged a friend as the first event was not attended, saying ‘I can plan away but God removes and adds at His pleasure’…little did I know that this was the exact lesson God wanted to teach me this week.

Tuesday was filled with the many commitments. And I awoke that morning engulfed by unexpected grief. I was reaching the anniversary of my dear grandfathers passing and I wasn’t prepared for the welling of sadness under the surface that bubbled over and into the cracks of everything on Tuesday. It overcame me. The first outing had to be cancelled due to having old family friends coming over that afternoon. I wasn’t going to change their visit, it had been many years. And I’ve been challenging myself to not cancel friend meet ups due to the way I am feeling, as community is such a gift and often can be a way for God to comfort and fill us up. Softly sobbing while moving about our kitchen, beginning the preparations for the meal we would serve, my eldest daughter came in and asked me, ‘Are you okay?’ . . . ‘I quietly replied, “no, I’m actually really not okay”, she hugged me tightly while I explained my unexpected grief. She was so kind and asked what she could do to help. And she started taking over early stages of the meal preparation so I could take a minute.

That afternoon I received a message of “Steph! I can barely bring myself to send this message. . . ” Our family friends needed to postpone our dinner. I teared up (again), in awe of God and His care for me. Sad to miss an evening with friends but grateful and trusting that God was holding me and holding our day. I spent the rest of the afternoon gently enjoying home and family and letting the grief take its course.

The rest of the week was still very full and Wednesday had a long list to tackle. Along with a friend meetup in the afternoon that ended in one of my children injuring themselves enough to need to stay home for a few days to heal. Adding another unexpected twist to our days. A friend needed a listening ear for a few hours after a big social event the next day, taking up what was meant to be a quiet afternoon and we were home just in time for dinner and date with my daughter that evening.

Appointments and errands and feelings of exhaustion were overcoming me on Friday. I definitely didn’t feel like I had divided and conquered this week. I felt like I had been shoved to the muddy ground and was army crawling with cuts and scratches to the end of the week. And over the weekend, anxiety and feelings of failure bubbled up. I wasn’t measuring up to the yardstick I had set myself. I had learned nothing. I felt like a hypocrite. I didn’t realize that all along, God had been with me. Tweaking my days, moments and the week in its entirety to be just what it needed to be for my growth, my family, and our needs.

God reminded me that He had been with me through it all. That He was in control. I had thought I’d had a say over the week, and while I did in some ways, He ultimately guided my steps and brought me through moments and hard experiences that gently toughened me. For whatever reason I made it through this week thinking I had to figure it out, but again; He reminded me that He has ALREADY figured it out.

Proverbs 16:9 “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.

Friends, is there areas in your life where you feel like you need to ‘figure it out?’. Make a plan, divide and conquer? I say do this, but do it loosely. And do it prayerfully with God – knowing that He will supply for your needs – He will change your plans, orchestrate meetings, cancel events, provide for your needs and gently guide you through. It’s more about going about our days with a quiet acceptance, a plan held loosely – knowing that God is in all of the moments, by your side – and He also provides rest for you when you need it. But if our minds are too busy held up with worry over the ‘things’, we miss out on the gifts that each day holds.

I’ve been challenged in this. Nudged to let go of the worry and thoughts held in my mind to allow room for the whimsy gifts that are surrounding me every day.

Quotes of the week:

“You can’t fail if you never quit!” – Michael Drake

And

“Give yourself patience and live with the ebbs and the flows” – line from ‘Travel on’ by ‘Late Night Thoughts

With Wildflower Whimsy,

Steph xo

P.S. My favourite moment this week was watching my youngest daughter dance and twirl through our fruit trees with a rainbow playsilk tied to a stick. I want to soak in more of this, and to do that I’m letting God stash my worrys ‘in the file drawers of heaven’ as Sally Clarkson would say. Whimsy moments found holding loosely to plans and asking God to “renew our minds”. Leaving room for gifts of beauty, whimsy, and light. All my love xo