Wildflower Whimsy

(And other ways whimsy found me this week)

Dear wildflowers on an ordinary Monday, How are you?

The theme of my week has been a resounding “How can I suffer well?”.

(side note edit and thought wander: really though, are we truly suffering if we have a bed to sleep in, roof over our head, and food to eat and people to love and be loved by? If we’re safe? Not in war torn lands? Suffering is perspective and relative. Soul suffering is universal though, and irrelevant of circumstance. You can have every material thing and whim met in the world and be in turmoil inside, utterly suffering. You can also have nothing, with nothing, in hard situations and be at complete peace.)

Life’s road on this earth will never be perfect. We will have expectations for our days, plans for our lives, and attempts to control almost every bit of it. But as I learnt when I was in labor having my babies; to resist the pain makes everything stall, creates problems, and increases the pain. To relax into a contraction as though letting go, releasing and riding the waves of it – doing all in my power to relax my body through it. In a healthy, natural labor, the process of it happens as it should: uninhibited – organically – naturally. With the joy of birth – new life – transformation as a result.

I think the same applies to life.

My week was a challenging one physically and mentally, as far as weeks go. And met with what felt like, a relentless onslaught of small hits. I took things personally. I worried more than usual about societal yardsticks and ways I wasn’t measuring up. I was confirming my bias towards the pain of it all with every extra difficult thing that came my way. I was tired. I was sick of things. I felt like I was suffering.

Had God left me? Nope. I know this. He was holding me up. The fact is. Life will bring suffering. Life will bring some really difficult and hard things. Choosing to worship God as our number one does not eliminate suffering. Every single person on this earth will have their hard. The ways they suffer. All so different, and yet all so the same. And nothing on this earth truly fixes any of it. Having God and His love with us in the suffering and our heart posture fixed towards Him won’t always make the suffering bearable, but it will make it joyful. We HAVE to relax into Him and trust the process. That He will bring the magnificent end result organically, when we trust fall into His plans for our life.

But we will still suffer.

And I felt that this week.

Driving to town on our old, single lane road, my heart a flutter and mind burrowed deep in the mud of life and busy; thoughts tangled in a web of everything. I spied an oncoming vehicle and slowed down, pulling half off the road whilst still going forward to allow space for them to pass. I saw that the vehicle was an old ute, with an old farmer at the wheel, puttering down the road. Windows down, he put a hand up to wave at me as I was passing him. He was not in a rush, just doing what he often did, I am sure. I felt a wave of reckoning wash over me. I’m missing the point – again. Theres no need to stall life, increase the pain and create more problems by my resisting the pain of it, trying to control and stress my way out of it. The old farmer gets it. I don’t know his life at all. But the posture of someone old, driving slow, waving with the windows down to a total stranger tells me he’s got a thing or two figured out. The calmness. The lack of ‘rush’. Detached from pressure. Slow.

Yes, there will be suffering. But can I just let God’s plan be the river my boat gently floats over to the destination God has set for me? Rather than me trying to force my way upstream to try and control and stop the flow of it? It’s futile. And yet we attempt it. We’re missing the gift of a natural and organic life. The beautiful transformative refining process that God has in place to bring us the most soul satisfying and joy filled outcome.

I wrote some thoughts in my journal about it yesterday, I thought to share them here:

Suffering well
Life is a river
cascading and free
its onslaught keeps flowing
to you and to me

We can’t control it
the ebb and the flow
we can only resist
or receive
that we know

To try and do more
will be met with defeat
we can’t change what comes
but we can do as bidden

To go with the flow
of God’s river to you
Laughing and splashing
Resting with tide

Climbing aboard
the grace boat He gives
abiding in His care
until we reach the farthest shore
Held by Him, ’til there

With wildflower whimsy,

Steph xo

P.S. I have a few favourite quotes this week:

“Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror. Just keep going. No feeling is final.” – Rainer Maria Rilke

“It is in dialogue with pain that many beautiful things acquire their value.” Alain de Botton

And final one:

“Prayer is what moves you from being wildly reactive to wisely reflective.” – Ann Voscamp

Learning that, along with the suffering, there are SO. MANY. GIFTS! Here are a few of mine from the week to remind that it’s the littlest things that make a big fat beautiful life!

• My husband’s decaf iced latte’s – ground coffee beans mixed with sticky honey and added brown sugar to the mix
• plump and juicy home-grown mulberries packed into a home-made mulberry pie. Warm and organic and fresh, sided with melting vanilla ice cream. Heaven felt close.
• A dear friend pouring life and encouragement into my soul. A gift. Hope again.
• Inspired by a book and starting a collection of beautiful trinkets and things on my hallway shelf to change monthly – tiny reminders of beauty and grace.
• Post it notes plastered around the house by my eldest, little quotes of whimsy
• God appointments that blessed me most. wow.
• Kissing soft baby cheeks and holding fragile sweetness
• funny movie with Nana, hubby and kids. The laughter!
• Old man, in old ute, on our old country road!
• stars!
• sunsets
• singing
• dancing alone
• Bunnys and beautiful birds on walks with a friend
• Getting lost in a novel in the pockets of my days
• The sacredness and sanctuary of home
• happy news!
• strong iced matchas
• connection, vulnerability, and the beauty of realness

I could keep going. But it has been an almost physically-felt, heart posture shift in myself to truly find the counterweight beauty and whimsy each day. I want to keep practicing. I want this to be the wholeness of my legacy. I want to be known for having a twinkle in my eye and a skip in my step when my hair is long, old and grey and the wrinkles are everywhere; with time and presence enough to drive slow with the windows down and wave to a stranger. I’m starting now!

Also, I read this article and it’s a must-read for all of us wanting to cultivate beauty and depth in true, soul-felt friendships. I am so challenged and inspired!

Much love xo