Wildflower Whimsy

Happy Monday Wildflowers!

What a gift, we made it through another week.

How was your week? What whimsy moments filled your soul? What was hard? Where did God show up?

I felt so carried, and ‘blanketed’, by God’s peace, love and presence last week. Until I didn’t.

Our family has been going through a ‘testing and trialing’ season. But I’m realising that testing and trialing is actually not in the negative. I’ve been pondering over some of the faith-filled Bible stories, and the ‘testing and trialing’ seasons seem to be put in place to test the followers of God to see if they were putting their money where their mouth was and truly trusting Gods leading in their story. In other words, I say I trust God – and now I’m in a situation where I have to prove it. To prove that I trust that He is a GOOD God, Who wants GOOD things for me and has an amazing plan for my life- a future, and a hope. It’s easy to say I believe in God. So easy. But when there’s fire. And tension. Do I really? Or do I think I have the answers and ‘need’ to step in to ‘save’ myself and take back the control of my life? Only Jesus can save us. Only He has springs of water that won’t run dry and that satisfy all the empty, aching parts of us. (Isaiah 58:11; John 4:13-14).

My eldest daughter floored me yesterday. We were talking about our life of late. And how the ‘thief comes to steal, kill and destroy’ John 10:10. And she piped up and said, “he wouldn’t be able to steal from an empty house”. I was a deer in headlights. That really hit a chord with me, and I’ve been thinking about it a lot since. When our ‘houses’ are filled with things of true value. Morality. Conviction. Fruits of the spirit. Determination to follow God with all you are. Peace. Patience. Love. . . Satan gets desperate. He doesn’t want to see a thriving house. He wants it emptied of things of value and filled with cheap substitutes. A valuable house gives God glory. A house labeled ‘Christian’ filled with junk makes a mockery of God. We are the gatekeepers to said house. A huge responsibility. But also easy if we’re standing at the gate of our ‘house’ holding the hand of the God Who decorates universes with galaxies, paints daily sunsets and whispers delight on the hearts of all the birds; while also defeating giants and creating worlds and calming storms. What promise. Thoughts to ponder anyway.

Back to my week.

In the aftermath of a rollercoaster whirlwind, as mentioned in my last post. I felt so held in the arms of Jesus. A couple of days after, however; tensions were heightened. My mind bombarded. Needs from all directions. Challenging me in the areas I had been learning to trust God in. Me trying to figure out how to tame my world. Fear, overwhelm and feelings of stress paralysation setting in. I couldn’t see the forest for the trees and I was freezing up inside. I was snapping.

I went to bed very agitated that night. Tossing and turning I couldn’t stay asleep. I was wrestling with my thoughts. Crying out to God ‘I was feeling so much peace! Where has it gone!?’

Immediately, my mind pictured Peter in the Bible walking on water towards the outstretched arms of Jesus. As he walked, he started to glance around himself. Seeing the waves that were pounding either side of where he was walking and peering downwards at the dark, murky depths under his feet. He immediately sank into the black chaos of the sea and cried out to Jesus to save him.

God said to me, “You can walk on water, so long as you keep your eyes fixed on Me.”

Tears came then. And I chose to push away the force of fears and overwhelming worries that were attacking me from all sides and opened up my Bible to Psalms. I read, and I read, and I read. Until my storm passed over and I could breathe again. My eyes back to the One Who was leading me through. Trusting His goodness and His love for me. His plans that are good. Wild. Exciting. Letting Him calm my storm. No longer quaking but going ahead anyway. A little afraid, yes. But trusting the One Who loves me so.

I wanted to ask. Are you facing a storm of any kind right now? Things that seem murky, and dark and overwhelming? What would it look like for you to stop looking at the problems and the really hard stuff. And turn your eyes to Jesus?

I’ve had that concept in my head this week. I want to trust God with everything – but what am I to do ‘In the meantime?’

I’m realizing more and more that – in the meantime, I have keep choosing to rest under the shelter of Jesus wings. Practicing gratitude and contentment. Feeling the feelings, having a cry, sometimes a vent. But not staying there.

Yesterday I went to find a storage box in our shed to look for something and I stumbled across a big stack of old journals from five to six years ago. Curiously I opened a couple and flicked through. I started to notice something. I was still the same person, with the same kind of prayers and dialogue – but the difference I could see, was that I doubted I was good enough to be truly loved by the God of the universe. I’m sure I had head knowledge that He loved me. But there was so much doubt, uncertainty and misunderstanding at the true, awesome, all-encompassing love of God for me. Looking back, I didn’t feel like I measured up or was ‘good enough’ a lot of the time.

I felt a little sad for my past self, but also so much gratitude. For throughout my life God has been there with me, little bit by little bit, teaching me to trust His love for me. And helping me understand and comprehend that I can run to Him for safety, peace and shelter in any moment and fully rest in His incomprehensible love and delight and care and nurture for me.

I actually think that this is key to everything.

Do you know that you know that you know that you are COMPLETELY and UTTERLY adored and loved by the God Who created you? No matter your performance? No matter your appearance? No matter your missteps? Or lack of anything you think or imagine He might expect?

NOTHING else matters. Truly. It’s about relationship. And there is nothing you can do to cut yourself off from His love.

If you can lean into this. His utter delight in and love for you – It changes EVERYTHING.

With wildflower whimsy,

Steph xo

P.S. Quote of the week:

You don’t rise to the occasion; you fall to your preparation.” – Chris Voss

I’m making a big list of whimsy gifts this week. Perhaps to combat the ‘bigness’ of the difficult things. ‘Counterweights’ if you will (I’m looking forward to reading Shannan Martin’s book on this!):

• beautiful friendships and lovely conversations, support and kindnesses. Friends are such a God gift and I’m so grateful.
• Matcha’s with honey are taking back the spotlight in my world and have been a daily momentary comfort!
• Having a 24 hour Sabbath with my phone turned off and nothing to do. So very soul filling.
• Eating fluffy choc chip pancakes with butter and maple syrup drowning them brought tears to my eyes as it took me back to my childhood and my poppy taking us to McDonalds for the first time I’d ever been and eating their hotcakes
• Watching the 1883 Pirates of Penzance with a young Kevin Klein as a family was a comical and fun highlight
• Singing with a new blind friend, unexpected fun!
• Using this bath bomb that I had saved from birthday season. I got a little pink ducky and the jasmine fragrance and concept of a ‘big hug’ was so needed.
• My sister sending me a monetary gift unexpected to treat myself on an especially difficult day
• My husband. We live a crazy life but doing it with him brings me so much joy.
• My kids and their antics.
• I bought a new book just for fun. I’m looking forward to getting lost in it!
• My ‘iced latte’ candle my hubby bought me a while ago. I will walk past it and have a sniff ‘just because’ many times in the week
• When I was little, we had a video of ‘gerbert’. I had completely forgotten about this character but remembered him this week and my kids and I sat down to watch this episode. . . It was such an important lesson for us all to remember (and a little cringe but so warm and nostalgic for me)
• Fast paced long walks and talks with a friend. Always a boost.

It’s your turn! See if you can make a long list of your whimsy gifts this week to ‘counterweight’ the difficult moments. So much love, Steph xo